Okay... so 'grand finale' is not the best description but nevertheless 2010 is drawing to an end, with a few hours left for this year. Big picture wise, the year has been memorable, kicking off 2010 being engaged to Ed & ending the year finishing my studies.
2011 will officially be the period of transition but this year has been a preparation year for what's to come.
Premarital counselling / marriage classes has been one of the highlights of the year. A few of the things that has stuck are: the triangle, God's design is for the wife to submit to her husband and that involves giving Ed room to lead me, I am his helper - as the Holy Spirit is called a Helper and guides us and points us to Jesus so I need to be to Ed a helper. Honesty at all time in the marriage is essential. I am beginning to see how much more God will refine us both after we are married. Already a few things this year have sort of surfaced and hinted on the reality of marriage.
After a difficult 2009 for the family, mum & dad have been slowly working towards being more independent and living life as a couple. The other day I was thinking to myself, 28 years of marriage but still very young. The number of years you are married is likened to the age of a person. So, for them 28 years... adult but still a young adult. As for Ed & I... just a feotus at this stage. Yet to see the 'world'. This has been a good year of getting to know Ed's family... or my family-to-be. Very thankful to God for his parents and their acceptance of me.
I have officially resigned as treasurer after 4 years of ministry to Cabramatta Baptist, although still waiting for God to raise up someone to take on the role. I am thankful that God put me in a very loving and supportive church. However, after a few years in treasury, I found that it has become quite a 'chore'. There is always some paperwork that needs to be done and eventually I found that I had really miss the people contact. Next year will be challenging and exciting all at the same time as Ed & I invest our time in people. I am not really sure how and in what capacity God will use me but simply wanting to be able to say like the prophet Isaiah, "Here am I, send me". Well, I think one of the challenges ahead for me is seeing how I can be a helper and a partner all at the same time to Ed. I pray that I won't be frustrated if I feel like I am lacking in anyway but to be a woman of strength and be fervent in prayer as I bring my weakness to the foot of the cross.
Work has been okay... up and down but in the end of the day it is a job. I have declined in my 'performance' towards the end of the year. My desire is to work faithfully and be a good testimony but that has not been the case. I am lacking motivation. Not sure if God's opening a door or a window for the job in the school but nevertheless He knows best.
I don't think I have grown much spiritually this year. Not declining, just in a steady state. My mind has been so preoccupied all the time. It has been a busy year for me personally. 1/2 of the year (26 weeks) has been taken up with studies and leaves the rest for family, ministry and spending time with others. About a month ago, I woke up in a shocked and sad state. A voice was telling me that I have stopped praying and that I don't love Jesus as I should. I guess it is the Holy Spirit rebuking me. My heart was heavy. For the New Year, I pray that the Holy Spirit will fall afresh on me and that I will really get back into God's word and be more fervent in prayer.
I finished off 2010 being really tired - so tired I feel dysfunctional sometimes. I guess it is because I have so much to do at home yet (paperwork, accounts, etc) After spending a whole day at work, I crave people contact and relaxation when I come home and really struggle to get myself to do anything at all. One thing that is highlighted here is that I lack self-discipline since it is not that I don't have the capacity to that that, I just didn't want to. Need to be more disciplined next year and be wiser in the way I spend my time.
That's it for another year gone. Much to look forward to in 2011 and to be stretched, grow and molded in all areas of my life.
